Nice in the praise, pretty nice art or gift giving. Why do we sometimes belittle nice? Do we necessarily want a grand gesture or is it (false) modesty? While we speak highly of small happiness and a thumbs up on our social media seems to be able to make our day, nice struggles with a nice image problem. Time to delve into niceness and start reevaluating it.
Everything
'Being nice' is on the decline and it's not just us who have noticed. Swearing with cancer on social media. Spitting on public transport employees. Ignoring cashiers. Not giving right of way in traffic. Examples of unkind behavior abound. According to the government, it was getting so out of hand that they started a SIRE campaign. The campaign wants us to address each other on unkind behavior with one word: "#doeslief."
Doeslief
But why is society coarsening? Being nice doesn't seem so important in the world of economics, commerce and politics. After all, what do you buy for niceness? In the world of social media, manners are sometimes downright rude. In addition, many people are under high pressure in their work and beyond. They expect so much from themselves that they no longer have much regard for others. Finally, leaders who set social norms play an increasingly minor role in coexistence. Ethical calls in the 21st century reverberate essentially through empty churches. In short: being nice has become nicely lost under a mountain of veelled causes.
Dadel
With the disappearance of nice, we also really lose something. In personal life, nice represents great value. You usually don't have to look far for that. Presumably everyone can cite an example. I was standing on the bus after something violent had just happened to me. Apparently that was evident from my face. A woman unknown to me who saw me standing there offered me a date. As inadequate as the gesture may have seemed, I was not hungry, but sad, it emotionalized me. This stranger showed that she saw my emotions and connected with me. She had the unmistakable intention of being supportive of me. I received something, without her needing anything in return; it was a kind act.
Connection
It is unfair to label being nice as superficial, dependent or indulgent. Of course, being nice is nice for the other person; the recipient. But you also benefit yourself. Buying a gift for another person gives a feeling of happiness. Scientists measure increased levels of oxytocin, or cuddle hormone, in the giver in such a case. This hormone is important in the connection between loved ones and the connection between parent and child. For example, it triggers breastfeeding. Moreover, this hormone reduces feelings of stress and is good for your mood. With this, then, there is no question that niceness deepens and strengthens social relationships. You not only get a good feeling by receiving kindness, but also by giving kindness, by being kind.
Aardige Amsterdammers (nice Amsterdammer)
De Regenboog Groep is looking for more Aardige Amsterdammers in December. People who do something for others and allow themselves that nice feeling of being connected. Amsterdammers who do something for a fellow citizen who can't do it alone. There are as many ways to do something nice for another person as there are residents. That is why we keep an open mind and listen carefully to everyone in Amsterdam. So, you will find a lot of Aardige Amsterdammers. And if we find another one? Then we give them a little something. That gives us such a nice feeling.
Text: Joost Slis